The Naughty North Checklist for Choosing the Perfect Vibrator

Vibrators come in a lot of styles—and yeah, it can feel like a bit of a jungle out there. Every year there’s a flood of new options promising bigger, better, toe-curling results… but the truth is, the “perfect” vibe isn’t about hype. It’s about you. Your body, your preferences, your comfort level.

So instead of getting overwhelmed, here’s how to shop smarter and actually land on something you’ll love.

START WITH YOUR BUDGET

Let’s be real—you don’t need to drop serious cash to figure out what you like. If you’re new or just experimenting, start with something affordable and use it as a learning tool. Once you know what kind of stimulation you enjoy (and what you don’t), then you can decide if you want to upgrade.

There are tons of solid, budget-friendly options that still deliver. Think of it as pleasure with a game plan, not a gamble.

DO YOU WANT INTERNAL, EXTERNAL… OR BOTH?

This is a big one.

If you’re curious about internal stimulation, you’ll want something designed for insertion—not all styles are. And if you’re exploring anal play, safety matters: always choose something with a flared base or a handle. No exceptions.

If you’re not sure yet? Look for versatile styles that can be used both internally and externally. They’re great for figuring out what your body responds to without locking you into one experience.

SOLO, PARTNERED… OR MIXING IT UP?

Some styles are amazing for solo sessions but awkward with a partner, while others are designed to slide right into shared play.

Compact, hands-free, or low-profile options tend to work better during partnered moments. Larger, more powerful styles might shine when you’ve got the space (and privacy) to fully enjoy them on your own.

If you want flexibility, go for something that can do both without getting in the way.

WHAT KIND OF STIMULATION DO YOU ACTUALLY LIKE?

This is where things get fun.

• Love focused, direct stimulation? Look at smaller, targeted designs.
• Prefer something that mimics touch or enhances your own movement? There are styles for that too.
• Want deep, rumbly, all-over sensation? Bigger power-focused options might be your thing.
• Craving internal + external at the same time? Dual-action styles are built for exactly that.

There’s no “best”—just what hits right for you.

DON’T FORGET ABOUT DIFFERENT BODIES

Pleasure isn’t one-size-fits-all.

There are options designed for external anatomy, internal exploration, and prostate-focused stimulation too. Whether you’re looking to enhance solo play or try something new, there are styles built specifically for different types of bodies and sensations.

QUIET? WATERPROOF? THESE DETAILS MATTER

If you’ve got roommates, thin walls, or just like to keep things discreet—noise level is worth thinking about.

Quick tips:

• Smaller and silicone-based styles tend to be quieter
• Bigger, more powerful motors usually mean more sound

And if you’re planning to take things into the shower or bath:

• Waterproof means it can be submerged
• Splashproof means… keep it away from the tub

Big difference.

At the end of the day, buying a vibrator shouldn’t feel intimidating—it should feel exciting. Take your time, stay curious, and don’t stress about getting it “perfect” on the first try. Your preferences evolve, and that’s part of the fun 

And if you ever feel stuck? Getting a little guidance can make all the difference.